why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
