Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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