He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
