Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
