If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm always down for nudity.
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