I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize