In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think your dad took our porno
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
