its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
