the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
