That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
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i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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