you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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