Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
