Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
