suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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