if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
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Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
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Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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