I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
