Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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