Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
