you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
