More tranny stories later!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
