so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
