WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
