They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
