you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
