after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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