Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize