If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
