Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
