plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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