you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
