Non-Jews are for practice
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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