That's intense
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
