it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
