You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
