I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
