There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
