I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
