I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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