I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
