how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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