It's Friday. Sex?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
