i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
