Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
