the new term for farting is butt boxing.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
