My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
