I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize