her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
