Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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