i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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