yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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