I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
