Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
