Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
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Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
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He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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