my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
