my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Randomize
