i barfeds in our rink
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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