You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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