I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
