I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
