Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
