it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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